he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
