what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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