then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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