Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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