found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
