I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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