My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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