So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
What a dumb baby whore.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
