it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
