what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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