woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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