If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
