Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
