I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
