wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
