oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
