Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
operation harelip BJ is a go
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
