I skipped work to stalk him.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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