So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
