Kiss
Puke
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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