I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
