I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
