I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
smell my finger.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
