dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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