she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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