I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
