Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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