Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I should be sponsored by Trojan
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize