nut hugger
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
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