So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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