I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
