Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
