We're facebook friends in real life
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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