that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
