these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
