these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
