how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I should be sponsored by Trojan
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
