And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
