I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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