Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
