garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
