i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
sick fucks of a feather flock together
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
