I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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