I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
