yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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