so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
