Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
