ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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