Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
