why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
