This girl is more easily done than said...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
