I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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