I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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