Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize