i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My penis needs a shock collar
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
