I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Life is so much better after having sex.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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