Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
