I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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